


This Is Everything I Ever Need

by Roselle_Storm



Category: The Greatest Showman (2017)
Genre: Child Abuse, Circus Family, Protective P. T. Barnum, Protective Phillip Carlyle, original character need a hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-11
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-09-16 06:52:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16949115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roselle_Storm/pseuds/Roselle_Storm
Summary: Henri Wilson will do whatever it takes to keep a smile on his little brother, Louis' face. But what happens when Louis wants to go to the circus, defying everything Henri has been taught in the life of a noble? Will he stay trapped in his cage of lies or find the freedom he has been looking for?





	This Is Everything I Ever Need

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Wonderful life](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14047164) by [Subland](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Subland/pseuds/Subland). 



“I have told you to never talk to filth and yet you did,” the man said his voice holding a dark undertone.

“I apologize, father. It was a mistake.” Henri replied, keeping his voice level. The cane struck him again and Henri bit back a yelp, his legs trembling.

“This is not the first time I have told you this, Henri.” The man circled him as the teenager kept his breathing steady while he was on his knees. “Yes, father.” Henri said quietly. “Do you deserve to be punished, Henri?” Henri closed his eyes briefly. “Yes father.”

He anticipated the swing of the cane as it struck him but even with his experience, he could not prepare himself for the pain that followed. “The next time you do this, I will not be so lenient anymore,” his father, Count Wilson threatened.

Henri nodded, tears pricking at the corner of his eyes. He stumbled to his room and locked the door behind him for fear anyone could walk in on him. Then, his legs buckled and he sank to the floor, finally letting the tears fall. A mirror stood in front of him and Henri flinched at the sight of his reflection. Dark bruises decorated his neck and Henri knew that his voice will be hoarse for the next few days.

He stood up and pulled off his shirt, wincing at the pain before turning to look as far as he could at his back. A myriad of bruises was painted on his pale skin and Henri sighed. He took a shower and slid on a high collared white shirt and black slacks. They were going to watch their cousin’s ballet recital that night.

“Henri! Henri! Come on, come on. We’re going to be late!” A small smile formed on the teen’s lips as the only bundle of joy in his life entered his room once he unlocked his door. His little brother, Louis Wilson. “Slow down Louis. You are going to hurt yourself,” he cautioned gently.

“Henri, it will be so exciting! Madeline will be amazing!” “I am sure she will be. Let’s go. Mother and father will be waiting.” Henri said, standing up and fixing his necktie to ensure that his bruises were hidden. Louis smiled brightly and walked fast, remembering his lessons on not running inside the house. “Come on boys. We will be late if you do not hurry.” His mother’s tone was gentle but Henri knew that it was only for Louis’ benefit. He was their favourite child and the hope of his family.

Henri shook all thoughts from his head and turned his attention to the recital. He noticed Louis staring transfixed at the lead dancer and smiled softly. **‘Looks like my baby brother has a crush,’** he thought.

After the recital however, he saw the little girl get snubbed by her fellow dancers and his heart went out to her. **‘She is the circus girl.’** Henri realized, finally understanding why they left her out of their little circle of nobles. **‘No** **child deserves to be treated that way. Wait, where is Louis?’** Henri spun around and saw Louis move towards the girl and he started a conversation with her, making a smile cross her cute face. Henri felt dark eyes bore into his head and he looked away, ignoring his parents’ obvious disapproval.

He spotted her father, P.T Barnum watching the two kids and briefly wondered if the little girl was going to get a scolding when she returned home. Then, the teenager was surprised to see his face soften when he noticed Louis making his daughter smile. The circus owner immediately turned to his wife and the two began whispering.

That night, Louis was telling Henri everything he had learnt about the girl and how happy he was for making her smile. “Good job, pumpkin.” Henri said, smiling as he tucked the boy in. “You must have made her day better. Good night, Louis.” “Night, Henri.”

When the teen left his brother’s room, he took a deep breath and moved to his father’s study. Every night, he had to report to his father to receive his punishments for whatever mistakes either Louis or him made. “Come in.” Henri locked the door behind him and stood with his hands behind his back.

“Henri, I have a question for you,” his father said, twirling the cane in his hands. “Yes father?” “Did I not tell you that Louis should never encounter freaks and misfits?”  Henri swallowed nervously. “Yes father.”

“Then why is it that I saw my son conversing with that filth of Barnum’s daughter?” “He wanted to comfort her, father.” Henri said, quietly. He flinched at the sound of the cane striking the wooden desk and resisted the urge to take a step back. “Comfort her?” the man said, his voice low and dangerous. “People like her deserve to be shunned by society.” “She’s just a kid!” Henri protested.

He drew in a sharp breath at the whistle of the cane as it hit him. “She is an outcast!” Count Wilson hissed. “She does not deserve to be.” Henri countered, his fists clenching. “You dare talk back to me?” Henri faltered, taking a step back at the look in his father’s eye. “I-I’m sorry.” “Oh you will be sorry, alright.” Henri felt fear fill him and that night, he had one of the worst beatings in his life.

The next morning, Henri opened his eyes and a wave of pain hit him like a sledgehammer that he had to physically struggle to breathe. Tears pricked at his eyes but he refused to let them fall, knowing of his little brother’s habit to barge into a room unannounced. He pulled open his bedside drawer and twisted the cap off a bottle of medicine, taking a big gulp of it. After some time, the pain subsided a little and Henri pushed himself up to a sitting position.

“Henri!” Louis’ voice called as the boy came running into his room. “Come on. Mom asked me to call you down for breakfast.” Henri smiled at the young boy and swung his legs out of bed. “I am coming pumpkin.” It was at breakfast that Louis asked the dreaded question. “Father, mother, could we go to the circus?” There was a gasp and the clatter of metal against glass. Henri saw his father’s face darken with anger and he quickly tried to cut in but his father spoke. “What did you say, Louis?”

Louis repeated his question, unsure why the situation was so tense. The man stood up and grabbed Louis’ arm, dragging him off the chair. “Get up! I will show you why you should know the answer to that stupid question.” Henri quickly stood up when he saw the fear in Louis’ eyes and stopped the man. “Father he is young and does not know the ways to behave as a noble yet. Let me teach him.” “Very well but if he ever puts a toe out of line again, you will be sorry.” Count Wilson said, releasing his tight grip on his second son’s hand. Henri nodded, needing no reminder of his father’s disciplinary methods.

Louis looked between the two of them and hid behind Henri who put a hand on his head comfortingly. “We are going to my room, father.” Henri said, gently nudging Louis along. When no protest came, Henri all but ran up the stairs with Louis. The minute the door shut them away from their parents, Henri knelt before Louis; asking him if he was alright. Louis managed a smile and said that he was fine. “Louis.” Henri said, warningly.

Then, Louis burst into tears. “I was so scared Henri. I thought he was going to hit me.” **‘He probably was.’** Henri thought, pulling the boy into a hug. He recalled feeling his heart stop when his father grabbed Louis by the arm. This is the first time Louis has been exposed to his father’s harshness. “It is okay, Louis. I will not let him hurt you.” Henri promised as the boy’s fingers curled in his shirt.

Henri found dark bruises on Louis’ arm and applied a healing paste to the wound.  “He was just mad, Louis.” Henri tried to explain as the boy dried his tears. “we are nobles and as such we are not supposed to mix with the commoners or with unusual people like those at the circus. “So we can’t go and see the circus?” Louis asked disappointed. “Not now, pumpkin. Maybe one day.” Louis sighed and muttered an OK. Henri felt his heart break when he saw how upset Louis was and the next day, he took the boy out; telling their parents that he wanted to show Louis how to properly behave like a noble in public.

They believed him and Henri led a still upset Louis outside. “First rule of being a noble is to never look upset in public.” Henri said. “Besides, I know something that will turn your frown upside down.” Louis looked at him curiously and Henri laughed. “Ah, ah, ah. It is a surprise.” Louis pouted but quickly brightened when they came to the docks. “Henri, are we really?” he asked excitedly.

“Yup, we are going to the circus.” The teen took Louis’s hand and knelt before him, putting a finger on his own lips. “Louis, you cannot tell father and mother. You saw their reaction right? Can you keep this a secret?” Louis nodded smiling joyfully as he flung his arms around his brother. “Thank you Henri!”  he squealed.

Henri chuckled. “Come on. Let’s go in.” The 18-year-old bought two tickets and cotton candy for his brother. Louis was practically vibrating with excitement as spotlight came on, landing on a lone man in a red coat who stood at the center of the stage; the rest of the place shrouded in darkness.

  _Ladies and Gents._

_This is the moment you’ve been waiting for._

A full body shudder wracked Henri’s body as the low melodious floated through the silence.

_Been searching in the dark_

_Your sweat soaking through the floor_  

Henri’s breath hitched as the atmosphere became heavy.

  _And buried in your bones, there’s an ache that you can’t ignore_

_Taking your breath, stealing your mind_

_And all that’s real is left behind_  

Henri felt as though his problems never existed as he was drawn into the void that is the circus.

  _So tell me do you want to go?_  

And there are the colours. Everything hit all at once and Henri gasped, not knowing what to look at first. Trapeze artists swung above and lions roared. There was a lady with a beard, a dwarf on a horse and unusual sights greeted his eyes.

  _Whe_ _re it’s covered in all the coloured lights_

_Where the runaways are running the night_

_Impossible comes true, it’s taking over you_

_Oh, this is the greatest show_

Henri was speechless as he heard the words of the song. Oh, how he longed for the impossible to actually come true.

  _It’s everything you ever want_

_It’s everything you ever need._

_And it’s here right in front of you_

_This is where you wanna be_  

 As the teen gazed at everyone who was performing, his eyes landing on the two ringmasters, the notorious P.T Barnum and Phillip Carlyle and he thought for a moment that yes, this is where he would like to be.

The circus ended way too soon and Henri had pull himself out of his stupor when Louis shook him. “That was awesome! I want to see the Bearded Lady and the Tattoo Man!” Henri stood and gazed at receding crowd of people. He turned back to Louis, unsure how to tell him that they had to leave when he realized that the boy was missing. “Shit! Louis!” he called frantically, looking around for any sign of the hyper young boy. He caught a glimpse of white out of the corner of his eyes and turned to see Louis sneaking backstage. “Louis!”

Henri raced after him but was stopped by a middle-aged man. “No visitors backstage.” “I am sorry but my brother sneaked backstage.” The man ducked behind and then told Henri to enter. It was an organized chaos as everyone was packing up after the show. Henri caught sight of Louis bouncing around Constatine, the Tattoo Man and rushed over. “Louis!” he exclaimed. “You should not run off on your own.” Louis didn’t look abashed as he grinned. “I am really sorry.” Henri apologized to the man. “Don’t worry about it. He’s a great kid.”

“Henri! Look, it’s a fairy!” Louis said excitedly as he ran off again. “A fairy? Louis!” Henri cried exasperated as he followed the boy, throwing a quick ‘Nice to meet you’ over his shoulder to Constatine.

He found Louis with a couple of people and saw Louis hugging the legs of a black lady with pink hair. “You’re so pretty. You’re a fairy right? I saw you flying!” Louis said, excitedly. The lady laughed and knelt down to his level. “I’m afraid that I’m not a fairy but thank you.” Louis turned to the other trapeze artist. “You’re so strong, sir! It was amazing! You were actually flying!” The man looked bewildered and stared down at the small boy.

However, he didn’t get a chance to reply before Louis was off again. “I am so sorry about him. He is really excited.” The lady, Anne Wheeler smiled at him. “It’s fine. It’s nice watching him.” “Sir, you are a genius!” Louis’ voice said loudly. Henri turned and to his horror, he saw Louis in front of the main man, P.T Barnum himself. The man smiled brightly and knelt down to Louis’ level. “Thank you, little man.”

“Louis, you are being rude.” Henri said before he turned to the ringmaster. “I am sorry. We did not mean to intrude.” “Oh, I don’t mind. Your son is smart.” Barnum said, winking at Louis. “Brother.” Henri corrected automatically. “’Louis, how would you like to see the rest of the circus?”  Barnum asked, his eyes twinkling. “Yes! Yes! Henri, can I? Please?” Louis asked, turning puppy eyes on the teenager. “I’ll take him,” the trapeze artist volunteered. “That is, if your brother agrees,” she added slyly giving him a side look. Henri chuckled. “Okay, I trust you, Miss Wheeler.”

She grinned widely and took Louis by the hand, leading him away as Barnum stood up. “You were at the ballet recital,” the man stated. Henri nodded. “Your brother was the one who talked to my girl.” Again it was a statement and Henri didn’t know how to answer so he just nodded again. “He’s a great kid. He was raised well.” “Thank you,” Henri said quietly.

Then, another man appeared and walked up to them. It was Phillip Carlyle. He had removed his red coat and stopped short at the sight of Henri. “Henri Wilson,” the man said with a small smile on his face.” “You know me?” Henri asked, surprised. “I’ve seen you around and your father is famous.” “For all the wrong reasons.” Henri muttered. “Yeah well, that’s the only way to become famous around here.” Barnum said, unfazed. “Yeah become a scandal.” Phillip sighed.

He turned to Henri and looked at him searchingly. “You are here without your father’s knowledge right?” Henri hid his nervousness and nodded. “Louis wanted to see the circus.” “I see.” Phillip murmured. “You’re welcome to come again.” “Thank you.”

“Henri! Henri! Look who I met!” Louis called, dragging a lady along. Henri recognized her as the Bearded Lady immediately. She looked bemused and Henri quickly went to rescue her. “Louis, we do not drag people along.” Henri admonished, prying his brother’s hand from her dress. “I apologize miss.” Henri said, looking at her as he rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment.

To his surprise, she laughed. “He’s a darling. It’s alright, love. He wasn’t any trouble.” Louis beamed at them and Henri ruffled his hair. “We have to leave, Louis.” “Aww. Do we have to?” “I am sorry, pumpkin but we have to be back before lunch or father will be mad.” There was slight tension in his shoulders at his words and Phillip’s eyes narrowed. “We’ll see you next time.” Lettie said, smiling kindly at them. “We’ll definitely came back. Right, Henri?” Louis asked. “I- Yeah, yeah. Of course.” Henri replied, putting his hands in his pocket to hide the trembling. “Yes! Thank you, Henri! We’ll be back!” Louis announced joyfully. “We’ll be looking forward to it.” Barnum said, giving them a soft smile.

Henri apologized and thanked them again as they left. “They were sweet kids.” Lettie sighed. “Phil?” P.T asked the younger man who was staring at the place the two brothers were. “Something’s not right.” Phillip muttered. “What do you mean?” Lettie asked. “I’m not sure. It is just a feeling but I’m certain that Henri Wilson has a secret.” Phillip said thoughtfully.

Meanwhile, the two brothers made it back just before lunch and Henri once again reminded Louis to remain silent about their day. However, Henri saw the disapproval in his father’s eyes and knew that he was going to get punished again for Louis’ question the day before.

It was nearing midnight that Henri went back to his room after his punishment and just flopped down on the bed, completely drained of energy. **‘This is not the last time that he is going to punish me.’** Henri thought, suddenly feeling bitter. He winced at the memory of promising Louis that they could return to the circus and curled on his side, struggling to push his tears away.

 **‘I can’t break that promise.’** Henri thought, losing the battle with his emotions. **‘I can’t make him lose that smile just because I’m scared father will find out.’**

Henri shuddered at the thought of his father finding out and he gasped soundlessly at the ball of fear in his chest, suffocating him. The pain he felt inside overwhelmed his physical pain and for a moment, Henri couldn’t breathe.

He panicked at the sudden loss of air and his breaths came out in short pants as he clutched the front of his shirt, struggling to draw air in. The teen pushed himself upright and tried to force his breath to become more normal. There was no one there who could or would help him at that moment. After a few long and agonizing moments, Henri managed to lock away thoughts of his father and his breathing slowly calmed.

The poor boy felt exhausted and older than his 18 years of age and slumped against the pillow. **‘I have to learn how to stop this or at least control it so that I would never have this in public or worse, father.’** Henri thought a small sigh escaping him as he closed his eyes.

When he next opened his eyes, it was morning but Henri still felt drained. Nonetheless, he forced himself to act normal throughout the day and fake smiles hid the ever-growing feeling of emptiness in his chest. He was able to let a little of his mask drop when they went to the circus, knowing that they would be too busy with Louis to notice much of him.

Everyone was excited to see Louis again and he was quickly swept away as Henri watched feeling slightly amused. “They really are a force of nature aren’t they?” Henri smiled though he didn’t feel like it. “Yeah, but Louis loves them.” “And what about you?” P.T Barnum asked. “They are-” Henri started, trying to find the right word. “Different,” he finished. The man laughed. “Different I can accept.” For the first time that day, a genuine smile formed on Henri’s lips. He didn’t notice Barnum giving a slight nod to Phillip who smiled softly, returning it.

By the time they had to leave, Louis had learnt how to do a cartwheel and was excitedly showing Henri. “That’s awesome, Louis. Good job.” Henri said, smiling as he ruffled the boy’s hair. “He’s a good kid,” a feminine voice said and Henri glanced at the side to see Lettie. “I know.” Henri said quietly. “He was the first kid to call me beautiful.” Lettie shared. Henri smiled again. “He had been brought up to always tell the truth.” The blush and wide smile Lettie had made Henri feel slightly better and he was in a better mood when they left the circus. 

“Remember Louis. You cannot tell anyone at all. I will take you tomorrow after school so please do not tell anyone, not even your friends.” Louis nodded, knowing the seriousness of the situation.

The next few days flew by and Henri had completely let down his guard at the circus, becoming good friends with W.D and Phillip. He let slip that his parents were very money minded but he sensed that the two would understand if he told them about the abuse. Henri was persuaded to try trapeze and it turned out that he had the right body shape for it. Unknown to him though, Anne and W.D were plotting to have him try aerial dances.

Charity was an angel. She had immediately adopted Henri and Louis into their family and Caroline was delighted to see Louis again. The three children were the babies of the circus and everyone adored them. For the first time Henri felt as though he had a family. P.T and Charity were the parents that he had always wanted and Phillip and W.D were the big brothers that he never had. They looked out for him and for once Henri didn’t have to be the eldest and keep up a facade.

One day, his curiosity got the best of him and he asked Phillip about his and Anne’s relationship. “My parents disowned me a few months ago.” Phillip told him. “But does it not hurt?” Henri asked quietly. “It did but I am happier here. I don’t have good memories with my parents and I love Anne. This is my family now.” Henri pondered Phillip’s words and he did note that everyone was happy here. He could even see himself happy here after he had fallen in love with the sky and the feeling of flying.

“It’s fire. It’s freedom. It’s coming at you.” Henri sang as he pulled on his shoes. **‘Does freedom really exist? If it does, this might be the place where I actually find it.’**

Then, one day everything went wrong.

Henri was getting ready as Anne and W.D told him that they wanted to teach him something different. He kept an eye on Louis, smiling when he saw the smaller boy playing with Caroline and Helen under the watchful eye of Charity. W.D gave him the signal and then, he was airborne. He absolutely loved the feeling of flying through the sky like a bird.

Suddenly, Henri spotted a dark figure step into the tent and even from the sky, he could recognize his father’s commanding figure. His grip slipped and he let out a gasp as he fell, the air rushing up around him. Shouts of horror rang out and W.D’s voice rang clear amidst the chaos. “Henri!"

Just as the boy thought he was going to hit the ground hard, all breath rushed out of him as he hit a net. Collective sighs of relief rang out but an angry yell cut through the commotion. “Henri!” Blearily, Henri saw P.T, Phillip and W.D rush towards him as he shakily stood up but he could only focus on the man in front of him. “Father,” he whispered.

Silence suddenly fell and Henri could feel the tension thicken. “Henri, are you ok?” Louis asked worriedly as he hugged Henri’s leg. Then, he saw their father and he gasped, pressing himself against Henri’s leg. “I didn’t tell him,” he said quickly. Henri drew Louis behind him and said softly. “I know, pumpkin.” 

“What is the meaning of this?” their father demanded. Henri swallowed the lump of fear in his chest and said. “We made some new friends.” A slap echoed through the room and Henri’s head whipped to the side, his cheek burning.

The girls gasped as W.D stepped forward angrily but Phillip stopped him. “Leave Count Wilson. You have no business here.” P.T said, drawing himself to his full height. “No business?” Count Wilson said incredulously. “These two are my sons and they are to return home this instant.”

Henri started to take a step forward but a gentle hand gripped his shoulder. “No.” P.T said. “They belong here now.” “Leave now, Count Wilson.” Phillip said, stepping in front of Henri. “We don’t want to repeat ourselves.” “They do not belong here in this filthy place! They are Wilsons and as such they have to return home this instant.” Then a feminine voice rang out and the Countess rushed in all her fancy dress. “Oh my babies!”

Henri instinctively took a step back as everyone cringed at her shrill voice. “How dare you kidnap our sons? Unhand them this instant!” “We did no such thing!” Anne said hotly. “They are here because they enjoy it here.” “Henri. Louis. We’re leaving! End of discussion.” Count Wilson said, his tone one that Henri recognized very well. It implied that any further resistance would increase his punishments and unwittedly his hands begin trembling. “Louis, come to mother, sweetheart,” the countess said, beckoning him.

Louis hesitated and looked up at P.T and Phillip. “We will not stop you if you truly wish to leave.” Phillip said quietly. “But there is always a place for you here if you wish to stay.” P.T continued. Louis moved to go to his parents but Henri pulled him back. “No."

“What did you say?” their father asked, his voice low. “No.” Henri repeated clearly. “We will not go back home with you. This is our family now.” Fury burnt in the Count’s eyes and he took a step forward, making Henri flinch. “Stop playing these stupid games, Henri. You will return to the Wilson household this instant.”

“I am not playing father.” Henri said forcing himself to look his father in the eye. “I am happy here and I will not go back with you.” “Stop being ridiculous!” the countess snapped, losing the act of a concerned mother. “You are still our sons. Do not make us call the authorities.” “I am 18 now.” Henri said, facing his fears as he stepped out of the protective bubble of his circus family.

Caroline gripped Louis’ hand tightly, hoping he would not leave as Helen took his other hand. “I am of legal age and Louis is under my care. I am registered as his guardian and I will decide where we stay.” Henri took a deep breath and continued. “You have no more control over us.” There was a stunned silence before Charity spoke, her tone tight and stiff. “He has made his decision. You would be wise to leave our boys alone.”

“Your boys?” the Countess asked, her tone matching Charity’s. There was a shift in his father’s stance and Henri’s eyes widened as a fist flew towards him. The teenager flinched, anticipating pain but after a few moments and there was none, he opened his eyes. P.T Barnum was in front of him and he had caught the Count’s fist. “You will not hurt our boys anymore. The next time I see you here, you won’t be so lucky.” W.D growled, agreeing as the others glared at the two nobles with furious eyes.

Foe the first time in his life, Henri saw his father falter and the man turned to give Henri a look so full of loathing that the teenager took a step back and looked down, struggling to keep his tears at bay. A hand gripped his shoulder comfortingly and Henri took a deep breath and raised his head as W.D’s comforting figure stood behind him. His father turned and left without another word.

The Countess hesitated and Lettie stepped forward intending to have her say but the noble lady took one glance at Lettie and fled, looking as though she might pass out any minute. “What just happened?” Lettie asked bewildered. “You scared her away.” Anne laughed. Lettie pouted a little. “I really wanted to threaten them.”

“Henri, Louis. Are you two alright?” Charity asked concerned. Henri nodded and turned to Louis. “Louis?” The boy smiled at them. “I’m fine. Does this mean we can stay here now?” “Henri, don’t you have anything important back there? How are you going back to get it?” Lettie asked. “No, I don’t have anything there. Only clothes.” Henri shrugged. ‘Louis is with me and that is enough.”

The teen stared at his new family, a wide smile forming on his face. “This is everything I ever need.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys this is my first Greatest Showman fanfic. You should definitely catch d3nver's fic cos it is soooo good. I hope you enjoy this fanfic. Kudos are appreciated.


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